It's a sunny day. The beer is cold. Ice cold. You're about to take a sip of your double-hopped limited-release IPA and some goddamn kid is screaming about wanting to play on their mom's phone. What the actual hell?! You're ruining it, kid. YOU ARE RUINING IT! But since the obnoxious ball of flesh can't read, I'll quietly let my new hat tell your dumb parents what I think of you and, once again, I will be a hero.
