I can't be expected to participate in this conversation

I told you, I don't like meeting in places with kids, laughter, clinking glasses, sudden exclamations of joy, people reading text messages out loud, cars nearby, any music made before 1950, chewing sounds, and dogs.  If you insist on bringing me to these places, I'm just going to sit in silence and stare out at the street. 

A special note: These hats are very popular amongst people who engage in empathetic professions - the cosmic irony of spending one's day trying to listen fully to others with compassion and then being asked to listen to someone they love in a crowded loud place speaks to their sense of injustice in the world and even though they may just want to exclaim: It's too damn loud! and walk out, they probably won't, because they are caring compassionate people.  This gripe is for them, so that the rage is kept at bay.

Average age of purchasers: 41 years old